


Mountain Daze

by LLN3dseestheLight



Series: The Paradox Of Complexity-The Scenic Route [2]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, F/M, Female Rodney McKay, Gen, Genderbending, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-06
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-02-24 08:21:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2574641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LLN3dseestheLight/pseuds/LLN3dseestheLight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John deals with the chaos he finds in the Mountain as he waits for the chance to go back home to Atlantis. In the mean time he deals with a female Rodney McKay... yeah, that's exactly as fun as it sounds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Things had been crazy for John since he came to Stargate Command after helping McKay along with SG-1 bring back a Wraith Dart, after destroying a small Hive and it's Queen, that hadn't been in his plans. No, all he had wanted was to find McKay once he realized that not only was in back in time, a couple years before he got to go to Atlantis, but that he was stuck in a snow covered hell.

John had not been pleased, finding the Dart had been the highlight of the last few months. It wasn't like he was going to leave it there in that dusty hanger bay, the siren call of a space ship was one he had never been able to resist. Being promoted to Lt. Colonel again was just cool, hearing McKay rant was...not.

McKay's rants were only cool if they were _'not'_ aimed at you.

John whistled the _'Pinky and the Brain'_ theme song softly as he walked down the hall of McKay's apartment building. He adjusted the strap of his duffle bag over his shoulder. It hadn't been that hard to get the address from the SGC computer system.

_Really, McKay had to be pulling out his hair out over that._

The system were just so...so old, wait no, that wasn't it. The systems were state of the art. But he was use to the system in the future which put the ones now to shame. Also there was the fact McKay had taught John how to hack into Wraith tech and how to use Ancient ones.

John stopped in front of a door.

_Yeah, this was it._

He knocked on the door. No answer. John sighed and knocked again. Then a few minutes later he heard, "Alright! I'm coming!" a female voice yelled as the door swung open.

John blinked, it surprised John so see this sight, bright intelligent blue eyes, a slightly crooked mouth turned down in a frown, long dark ringlets of almost waist length hair, curves on curves... _Yeah, it would always surprise him to see this version of McKay._ He was still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that McKay was...

"What the hell? Why are you here, Colonel?"

A woman.

And a very beautiful one.

_Yeah._

"Nice to see you too, McKay." John drawled slowly knowing how much the drawl in his voice could annoy Rodney. McKay's eyes settled on John's duffle bag.

"You! You have quarters! On the base! I made sure of that!" McKay spit at him.

"Come on Rodney," John said pulling out the sentence as long as he could, "You really didn't think I was going to stay under a mountain if I didn't had too?" He knew McKay would understand his reasons. After all, John knew McKay also had base quarters but had refused to use them. Neither of them could be without the sky or in Rodney's case the ocean for long. Being buried under the mountain was not going to happen.

"Fine! Fine!" McKay said throwing up his hands, "But you..." She pointed a finger at him, "You sleep in the guest room."

John nodded, but he wondered how long that- McKay poked him in the chest as he growled out, "And there will be no Kirking me, Sheppard!" Then turned away from John stepping back letting John into the apartment.

"Gee, Rodney," John said as a wicked smile came to his lips, "I'd never _do_ that."

McKay glared at him then walked way muttering under her breath. John's smile got wider as he let his eyes trailed downward to McKay's....

_So, yeah, since waking up in this timeline things were starting to look up._

_Yeah._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the pronoun misuse is on purpose. please don't let comments about correcting them.  
> I know their wrong. i'm saying it twice.. I know their wrong. It's for story telling to show John's confusion about McKay's knew gender and sometimes for show McKay's confusion for his new gender.

John stumbled sleepily out of his bed room. He went into the kitchen and saw that McKay was sitting at the table drinking a cup of coffee while glancing through the newspaper. SH-he, _McKay_ was dressed in a dark blue pants suit with matching jacket and a lighter blue blouse, her shoes were black dress flats. Her dark hair was pulled back in a simply but neat ponytail.

"You look...nice?" John said, though is was more of a question, as he made his way over to the coffee pot. which was sitting on the counter next to the sink, grabbing a near by cup and poured some coffee in it.

McKay only grunted at him.

"Why?' John asked after taking a sip of the coffee.

McKay threw down the paper and glared at John hissing one word, _"Funeral,"_ before getting up and stomping away.

John leaned back against the counter, setting down his cup, he rubbed a hand over his face and sighed, "Damn."

***

SG-11 was down to, two members.

John remembered that after they had returned from the plant were he had got the Dart. A petite red headed woman wearing a white doctor's lab coat had been in the gate room when they had returned. She had given Lorne and McKay a long meaningful long before shaking her head.

***

It was dark in the living room.

John, from where he leaned against the doorway, could see McKay sitting on the sofa. Knees pulled up to his chest and her arms wrapped around them, her forehead resting against them.

_"Their names were Tyler Marks and Morgan Avery."_

_"Marks could match me insult for insult."_

_"Avery liked math and was good at it too."_

_"They saved my life once...well maybe a few times. I wish I could have..."_

_"...It looked like someone had crossed a cat and snake, it was cute. They wanted to bring it back to Earth for a pet! "_ McKay laughed in remembrance, " _But Lorne wouldn't let them."_

***

It had been three days since the funerals of the two SG-11 members. McKay had locked himself in the lab after the funerals and hadn't come out since then. John hadn't known that because he was being briefed on his new position at the SGC.

He still wasn't exactly sure what it was he did.

It wasn't until he ran into Lorne that he found out about McKay. John knew McKay didn't deal with death easily. In fact McKay's way of dealing was to 'work and ignore the grief until it went away' it was the time honored way many of them on Atlantis used. But John had been told time and again that it wasn't a healthy way of dealing with ones feelings.

At least that was what the many, many, therapists told him over the years.

John sighed, he would give McKay one more day then he would drag his friend out of the lab if he had too.

***

 _"They were Team."_ McKay whispered into the dark room.

***

John looked round the living room, pictures had been torn off the walls, broken glass littered the floor. The sofa cushions were ripped and stuffing scattered around the sofa, the sofa itself was overturned. But the computer in the corner of the room was untouched, that didn't surprise John at all.

What did surprise him was that the coffee maker had died in McKay's battle with **Grief.**

John bent and picked up a picture from the floor. It was a candid shot of McKay and Lorne sitting in the SGC mess hall with two other young men. They were caught in a happy moment, laughing at some joke that had been told, maybe? John wondered.

He wished he could have known them.

***

 _"I'll miss them."_   McKay whispered against John's chest.

" _I know."_

***

John saw the crowd of scientists even as he heard, "YOU INCOMPATENT MONKEYS!" Some of the white coat wearing people were crying, some were yelling back in their native tongue," ARE YOU TRYING..." others were glaring at their fellow _monk-err_   scientists like it was their fault McKay was yelling at them. The others looked like they were plotting revenge. "MIKO CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?"

The Japanese woman was leaning against the wall smirking them, "They don't deserve the title of Minions, that you gave them, Senpai."

"WELL? OF COURSE THEY DON'T! WAIT! WHAT IS THIS? DO YOU WANT TO KILL US? MIKO! GET IN HERE!"

Miko turned going in the lab.

"CARTER SHOULD FIRE YOU ALL!"

The rant slowly tapped off to a low roar. John knew this was a good thing. McKay was coming to terms with his **Grief.**


	3. Chapter 3

John leaned back in the chair, behind his desk in his office, holding a paper plane in his hand. Had been given an _office._ He had an _office,_ for Christ sakes! John wasn't sure what he had done to deserve one. Surely bringing back one little _alien spacecraft_ wasn't a reason for an _office?_ He really hadn't done anything to justify having an _office._

He sighed as he threw the plane, he watched as it glided through the air.

Then again they had given McKay a lab. Not, and John was pretty sure of this, that Rodney actually did anything important in there. Miko seemed to be in charge of it. John could sometimes hear McKay screaming at the lab monkeys...err, scientists. McKay would make them cry and Miko would snicker at them. Miko was Rodney's favorite as far as John could tell, then Major Carter would go drying the tears Rodney let behind in her wake.

It made John angry at how McKay was treated by the higher ups, (yes, O'Neill! I'm talking about you.) Because if anyone had asked John he could have told them that Major Carter for as smart as she was? Well, Rodney was smarter. It was just a fact that John was comfortable with but no one asked him.

The paper plane landed in front of the door od John's office just as a knock sounded.

"Yeah, come in."

Lorne walked in, "Doing anything important," he asked glancing down at he paper plane with a smirk.

John looked down at his empty desk, then slowly back up at Lorne, knowing that the blonde man was remembering John's loathing of paperwork. Yes, Lorne had told him he remembered Atlantis. Rodney had a theory that the gene carriers might have got their memories back after the explosion, like a giant reset button was pushed for the universe, or something like that? She wasn't sure if those that got the gene therapy would also remember or not, though. McKay said she and Daniel didn't count because they were more Ancient now than human, at least genetically.

"Nothing that can wait, it seems." John told the other man sardonically.

"Great! You can join us for Sparring."

John blinked. _Sparring?_ And, yes, he could hear the capital letters, "Sparring?"

Lorne nodded, "McKay thought it would be a good idea. She enlisted Teal'c help, to teach the soldiers how to use other weapons besides modern day weaponry. And that everyone should know different forms of hand to hand. Teal'c got some of our Jaffa and other allies to come and teach when we told them we wanted to learn."

"And this was McKay's idea?" John asked raising an eyebrow.

Lorne nodded, "Well, it was once I reminded her of it."

That made more sense. Sparring Day was something that had started the second year on Atlantis. Mostly due to Ronon Dex and his fondness for beating up the Marines and for the Marines fondness for getting beat up by Ronon. A couple times a month those who were off duty, or on lunch breaks would gather in the main gym to test themselves and Ronon. It was good for moral and great exercise as well as practice.

It was also one of the reason's the Atlantis betting pool thrived.

John got up, _Sparring_ , "Let's go."

Lorne grinned, "Cool, the guys can't wait to see you in action."

"Why is that?" John asked warily.

"McKay's been bragging about you."

"Great." John said flatly.

***

John and Lorne walked into the gym. The music was blasting so loud John almost couldn't hear the roars of approval from the crowd of soldiers as one of theirs was winning or losing a match. John did recognize the song playing though, "Rockefeller Shank? Nice choice," his tone implying otherwise. He noticed the look on Lorne's face, it wasn't a happy one. No the man looked concerned. "What?" John asked him.

Lorne leaned over to John, "McKay always spars to this song. Something about the beat helps her concentrate, or something like that."

John frowned as he began to push his way through the crowd. McKay, once John got where he could see, was standing in thr middle of the gym floor. Whirling a pair of wooden bantos, (though John knew they were called something else on Earth the name escaped him) in her hands. The young, blond, male soldier that McKay was sparring with was so out matched it was pathetic to watch. John could see the soldier was having a hard time blocking McKay's hits. When McKay struck the soldier's right knee the young man went down, he gave the sign that he conceded the match and limped from the sparring area.

John watched a Mckay smirked and twisted the bantos in a simple kata, absently, as John made his way over to the blond soldier, "Give me." he told the young man making grabby hands for the bantos and the soldier tossed them to John with slight smile.

When John stepped into the sparring area, McKay gave him a suspicious look at the slow smirk her gave her.

"Are you sure about this, Sir?"

John heard Lorne ask, "Yeah," John drawled, "Someone's got to keep McKay from getting a big head." He gave one of the bantos a whirl.

McKay snorted, and the kata she had been doing became more complicated. John began to circle McKay and she watched him warily, while looking for openings in John's defenses. Both Teyla and Ronon had dragged McKay out to the labs for hand to hand training and sparring sessions, Rodney had once admitted to John, (while very drunk), that he actually like the lessons.

Suddenly McKay moved, the crashing, clacking sound of the bantos striking against each other was all that could be heard as the background noises fade...

**Block.**

**Block.**

**Slide out of the way...** John thought, _Shit that hurt!_

**Parry, dodge...**

_Should have zagged!_

_Whoa!_

John blinked, looking up at the ceiling in surprise as McKay's face came in to view.

"Are we done?"

 _"No,"_ John growled rolling to his feet, "You've been practicing, McKay. Teyla would be so proud."

"Yeah, yeah..." McKay muttered her blue eyes narrowing at John.

They circled again, blocking hits, parry thrusts, zigged and zagged all over the gym, the shouts and cheers from the soldiers watching were deafening at times as well as distracting. On and on the Sparring went, neither of them wanting to concede to the other. John came to realize they were almost evenly matched. Which was odd, because they rarely sparred with each other on Atlantis and he was sure their verbal sparring didn't count.

In the end they had to call it a draw.

"When did you get so good at this?" John asked panting for breath as he lay on the floor of the gym. The other soldiers wandered way once the match was called And it was just him and Rodney in the gym.

"When I realized all I had to do was apply physics in a different way." McKay rasped out harsh, sitting next to him, sweat soaking her shirt, molding to her from- John looked away, back to the ceiling of the gym.

And that answer?

Really was just so... _McKay._

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

Rodney frowned, no one had seen Sheppard. The man wasn't in his office... Not doing paperwork like he had been for the past week. Nor was he in the gym, beating up-err... Training some of the Marines as he had taken to doing. Not in the Mess Hall eating chocolate pudding or the other semi-bad food there. Nor in the Control Room bothering the Tech. Sgt. on duty. Wasn't seen anywhere near the labs or the infirmary.

Sheppard was nowhere to be found in the Mountain.

That worried Rodney a lot.

McKay sat down at one of the computers and used the security cameras in the mountain, around the mountain. _Nothing._ Then he hacked into the other cameras through Colorado Springs. Eventually, Rodney found his missing Colonel walking in to the tallest building in the city, ten minutes ago.

"Huh?" Rodney murmured in a soft tone that meant, _'gods, what is that fool doing?'_

_***_

John stood on the every edge of the roof, he had took in the sight of the city, which was boring. Then he looked up at the sky. Now that was a pretty sight! Pure blue as far as he could see. Not even a even the start of a cloud to be seen. The wind was stronger at this height, he closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of it on his skin. John barely heard the door to the roof open,

"Who do you think you are?" John heard McKay's exclamation, "Captain Jack Harkness? Get down from there!"

"How did you find me?" John asked then wished he hadn't because of the look she gave him.

"Really? Hello? Genius here! Has all the fluff you call hair eaten what little brain you use to have?"

John sighed, and backed off the ledge he was one back to the roof of the building, he walked passed her and asked, "Do you ever wonder if we are actually in _our_ past? Or do you think we are in some alternate reality?"

McKay shrugged, "Obviously we are now in an alternate timeline. I wasn't a woman in the last one."

John nodded, "Yeah, I thought so. While I was in Antarctica my father wrote me. Real letters, sometimes E-mail... My brothers too. We didn't do that in the other timeline."

"Is that a bad thing?"

John shook his head, "No, I suppose not. Just not sure how to deal with it."

"Did you write back?" McKay asked, looking at him concerned.

John nodded.

"Then you are dealing with it, moron." McKay said disgruntily, she opened the open that lead back to the inside of the building, she frowned at him, "Do you think we are to old to try and figure out human social interactions?"

John only shrugged, "Why do you ask? Are the Monkeys giving you problems?"

"No, more than normal." McKay sighed, "I've been E-mailing Jeanie.

"Your sister?"

"Do I know another Jeanie?" McKay muttered, "I thought, well it wasn't hard to get her E-mail address. I wanted... she was so happy when we made up before... So, E-mail, yeah."

John frowned as he walked down the stairs in front of McKay, he stopped and looked at her, "You haven't told her, have you?" Rodney's sister had been cleared to know about McKay's... Well, what happened to McKay.

"Oh, yes that is a conversation I really want to have: I traveled back twenty years to the past from another galaxy where I had a sex change caused by a secret alien device that I was working on in a secret military base." McKay glared at him, "Can you say Classified, Sheppard?" It had been said in the 'you are so stupid, why do I still talk to you' voice. "The last thing I need is for her is to think I'm crazy."

"You mean you're not?" John asked raising an eyebrow.

"Funny, Sheppard."

"You will have to tell her the truth sometime."

McKay waved a hand airily at him, "And when the time comes I'll think up something appropriate."

"Right." John drawled out, causing McKay to glare darkly as him before shoving him aside and storming down the stairs.

***

"Give that back, Major." John said in a low voice, it was the one that had made Wraith drones tremble in fear, he could not let Lorne leave the room with that... that thing. It was a matter of life and death.

"Do you know what would happen if McKay knew you had this?" Lorne asked with a bright grin, tossing the object up and down in his hand.

"Now Lorne," John said softly, "You really don't want to bring that sort of trouble down on me, do you?" As he backed Lorne into a corner of his office, because if he got out of John's office with that thing? John was a dead man. But Lorne stood his ground, grinning in the face of danger. Reminding John just why he had made this man his second in command all those years ago. Lorne never backed down. It was the reason the Gennii hated the Major.

It also explain why Lorne was able to put up with McKay.

When Lorne made a break for the door, John tackled the man tot he ground. They were both fighting, over the object that when it slipped out of the blond man's hand, it bounced and rolled to the door. Before eigher man could get to it the door to John's office opened.

McKay reached down and picked up the plastic, fake, bright yellow lemon, she raised an eyebrow at the two men on the floor.

***

**Rodney was exaggerating.  The Lemon Thing was a joke. No it wasn't a mature thing to do.**

**Yes, I can talk. I just didn't have any thing to say until now.**

**I saved the universe very other week in that old timeline! I needed a little bit of fun.**

**I know most guys think getting laid is the height of-** **That whole thing with the Alien Princess on MX3-9090 was totally not my fault!**

**No! I don't want to talk about my father.**

**Gee, McKay was right. You really are bad at this...**

*******

McKay came into the training area of the gym looking sleep deprived and just a bit wild-eyed. It was such a normal state for McKay to been in John didn't give it much thought. Until McKay grabbed him by the front of his uniform and tried to use him as a human shield, burying her face at his neck, he could hear her muttering lowly, "Evil... Evil is coming... Beware." It concerned John a bit.

Then Laura Cadman skipped into the room with... a _flame-thrower?_

"It's the most terrifying thing..." McKay whispered. John felt the whole body shudder McKay gave at the grin Cadman sent their way, "Make her go away!" McKay whined.

John had to wonder if McKay was spending too much time in the labs again.

***

**Yeah, McKay has Cadman fear. You did read the reports we wrote, right?**

**Of course is important! How will you understand McKay if you don't have- What do you mean we not talking about McKay?**

**It's all about McKay!**

**I still don't know what the naquadah  generator or the pea-nut butter was for!**

**Between you and me, though? I think McKay is skirting that thin line that separates genius-genius from insane-super villain genius.**

**C-4? What C-4?**

**I know nothing.**

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No beta. Yes I know a couple words a misspelled.

_Dear Jeanie,_

_I got clearance to tell you where I am...I'm working at NORAD. (Yes, yes all the rumors are true. Except the ones about the bunnies-No idea where that one came from.)  
_ _I was in an accident -but don't panic! I'm fine! I still have most of my parts...mostly. Another scientist and I were working on some advanced tech(so advance it's out of this world, really.) But something went wrong. There was an explodion and when I woke up..._

_Well, there is no easy way to say this..._

_I woke up a woman._

_No, I'm not joking. No, I haven't lost my mind! (Get that look off your face!)_

_This is the contact information for Colonel Jack O'Neill. He can confirm everything._

_(I've in closed a picture of what I look like now. Yes, yes, I know as a woman I look even more like_ _our mother_   _than you do. I don't want to talk about it.)_

_Are you happy, Jeanie?_

 

"So, what do you think?" McKay asked looking over her shoulder up at John, who had been reading the E-mail. "I wanted to respond to the one she send me last week. Did you know she never married the English Major?"

John shrugged, "It's possible she won't want to put you in a mental hospital. But I wouldn't count on it."

McKay blinked at him, "You think so?"

***

A few days later John asked warily as he looked around the airplanes, "Why have you brought me here, McKay?" These weren't just any airplanes but the newest the Air Force had.

At the moment anyway.

McKay rolled her bright blue, sky colored- _Okay, John, you really have to stop that,_  he thought. Because sooner or later McKay was going to catch one of those stray thoughts. Her ablitites were growing more and more like the ancient Atlanteans than John liked to admit. It wasn't like McKay was any different, he-she was still loud, arrogant and mean-tempered. Still the Rodney that John remembered, only...in a prettier(though not by much)package.

Nothing, _dear gods,_ nothing was ever going to make him say that out loud. McKay would kill him in some horrible, but creative way.

"Come on," McKay said as she began walking by the planes not sparing them a glance. Why should she? McKay had in fact designed and had built some of the finest aircraft/spacecraft that the Air force could ever hope to fly. That of course hadn't happened until after they had been on Atlantis for eight years. They continued to walk stopping at a hanger that was at least the length of a football field. Showing the heavily armed guard their I.D.s and after the guard made a quick call from his booth they were let passed the gate that surrounded the hanger.

When McKay stopped at the door of the hanger she gave John a bright grin. It was the one McKay all ways gave him right before the scientist made Ancient tech work, made him a really powerful Wraith killing weapon or built him a really cool spaceship. So, john knew whatever was behind door number one? Must be really cool! They entered the hanger and John could smell, dirt, grease, the jet fuel and human sweat...they turned a corner and stopped before a beautiful sight.

X-3o2's.

As far as the eye could see. John's gaze went a bit watery at the sight of them.

*****

**I wasn't crying! It was the dust from the hanger.**

*****

"I was thinking," McKay conversational tone startled John from what he was sure was the beginnings of a religious experience for him, "It's been a few years since you've flown one of these..."McKay's voice trailed off when John walked over to the nearest plane, lightly caressing the cool metal of it.

Years, _yeah if you mean years as in never,_ John thought, _in this timeline._ It had been more than ten years later in their the old timeline before he had ever flown one and it hadn't been a 302 but the 310s. John hadn't flown an earth made ship once Atlantis was able to make ships.

There was nothing like an Atlantis made ship designed by McKay.

"Fly?" John said not able to keep the disbelief from his voice, "I get to _fly?"_

McKay frowned, uncertain, "Well, yeah, if you want too?"

"Oh, I _want_ too." John purred out, eying McKay slyly.

"Great! Just pick one, "McKay waved a hand around, smiling," we can take anyone of them we want up."

"What's this we stuff, McKay?" John smirked as the smile dropped off of McKay's face.

"What?"

Yeah, John, totally loved that he could still make McKay get that look of confusion on her face, "If I'm going to take one of these babies up? I want a real co-pilot." His smirk widening at McKay low growl of outrage. John then snagged the male of a passing male in a flight suit saying, "Your with me," dragging off the stunned pilot to a nearby ship.

The name on the man's flight suit read... **Mitchell.**

***

"You know," the co-pilot drawled from his seat behind John, as he went through the pre-flight check, "that was kind of mean. Don't you think?"

John didn't reply.

"I heard that McKay had been planning this for months," Major Cameron Mitchell stated, harshly.

"Months, huh?" John muttered, that sounded like McKay.

"Yes, She drove everyone crazy until she got her way."

"She usually does."

*****

**It's just the way we are with each other.**

**No, I'm not pulling McKay's pigtails?**

**What are you even...**

*****

John looked over his shoulder at the other man and noticed the pissed off look on his face.  John wondered what that was about? He knew it wasn't common knowledge that people knew about the situation that turned McKay from a male to a female. But he was sure most of those working in the SGC knew about it. John narrowed his eyes at Cameron Mitchell, then shook his head going back to doing his own check list. "I want to get in the air."

***

John and Mitchell had been in the air for about twenty minutes. Mitchell was a really good pilot and something of a speed demon. So, if John just happened to push the 302 to its top speed as he put it through its paces? Mitchell did nothing more than crow in enjoyment. John had done a few lazy barrel rolls for fun just because he could. He had forgot what it was like to fly for no other reason except for the joy of flying.

Suddenly a black shadow streaked by overhead, causing lights to flare and a alarm to sound.

Mitchell's shout of, "What the hell?"

Was enough to bring John out of his Zen-like happy place. Over the radio, " _Tag, Sheppard. You're the Dart!"_

John switched on the radio, "McKay?" The answering laugh was all John needed to hear, as a feral grin crossed his face, Now the real fun could begin.

"Didn't know she could fly?" Mitchell said in awed surprise.

John snorted. Of course McKay could fly. John had taught the man how and not just for Jumpers and Wraith ships but everything John could get his hands on. They had taken four months of leave from Atlantis during the seventh year just so he could teach McKay how to fly everything made on earth. Because how could you appreciate space ships if you had never flown anything else?

*****

**No we did not re-enact the scene from Top Gun.**

**Mitchell is lying.**

*****

After playing Tag-the-Dart which had been a training exercise John had come up with to train the Jumper pilots of Atlantis. So they would never be taken by surprise they way they had when the Wraith had attacked the City the first time. John won the game. Not like that was a surprise. Although hearing that Sam Carter was McKay's co-pilot was, she must have forgiven McKay for the whole throwing her into a tree thing. Though hearing the Major scream in stark terror would have been worth losing the game for, John thought to himself.

_"Hey! Phoenix!"_

John's call sign...

"What Luthor?" John replied rolling his eyes. McKay had not chosen that call sign. It was in fact Lorne's fault. In a fit of bad humor and after marathoning the first five seasons of Smallville gave McKay the name. Best friend-evil genius-archenemy pretty much summed up McKay. John could hear Carter's laugh over the radio along with McKay's huff of annoyance.

 **"** _Bet I can make my co-pilot throw up before you can make yours."_ McKay said with the silkily tone of competition.

Mitchells sniggers and Carter's laughter stopped abruptly.

"I'm game if you are." John said with a smile as Mitchell started to protest.

_"Bring it, Sheppard!"_

John knew the serious of loops and barrel rolls the two ships did would have impressed anyone if they could have seen them.

Ten minutes later both 302's landed in almost unison. The cock pits burst open and both co-pilots stumbled out of the planes and down the landers that the techs had outs up to the planes. The monet the co-pilots hit the ground they both lost the contents of their stomachs.

*****

**Professional?**

**No, it wasn't.**

**...But it was fun.**

*****

John heard McKay's laughing, "Hah! Carter spewed first," as he climbed out of the plane. McKay strolled over to John once his feet hit the ground, "I was thinking..."

"A dangerous past time."

McKay nodded, eagerly, "I know. O'Malley's as an all you can eat buffalo wings deal and I want a beer."

John nodded absently then snapped his fingers, pointing at McKay _, "_ Steaks! Medium rare and baked potatoes with a ton of butter!"

"Ohhh, yeah," McKay whimpered dreamily as they walked by Carter and Mitchell. The two were leaning on each oher looking ghostly pale. McKay stopped and to John's surprise asked them, "You want to come with?"

Carter and Mitchell exchanged a look right before the both turned paler and...

"Eww," McKay said, her nose wrinkling up in disgust at the sight of both Majors losing their stomach contents again.

John pushed away the thought that McKay's expression was cute. He took Rodney by the arm and lead her way, "Blooming onions, six walls of flat screen TV"S..."

Rodney nodded, "Mmmm, Death by Chocolate!"

The sounds of retching faded behind them as they walked off the landing strip.

*****

**Things were fine after that.** **No I don't think McKay and I need join sessions...**

**The thing with our families wasn't really that traumatizing...**

**It wasn't!**

 

 

 


End file.
